Heartache and Hope

So often life throws unexpected challenges.  Yet through it all we find not only heartache but also hope.  Hope in tomorrow.  Hope in God.  Hope is His eternal plan for families, that life nor death is the end.

I had the joy recently to learn I am pregnant.  The joys was  uncontainable.  I wanted to share it with everyone I knew and did not know.  Baby names were being thought of, plans for building the cradle were explored.  Budgeting was being done.  Fretting about how and when to tell work.  Even deleting all friends from the new job off my facebook account in case I or someone else commented about being pregnant. I listened to General Conference and felt that every talk was for me as so many talked about families and raising our children to love and have testimonies of the Lord.

Then after the morning session of conference, things changed.  Things were not right, and I knew it.  I waited a few hours before telling Joshua and we decided to go to the E.R.  He and a dear friends husband gave me a priesthood blessing.  I felt a peace surround me even though I was still concerned, and my body was able to relax.  After 4 hours in the E.R., ultrasounds, tests, tests and more tests I was told I was having a miscarriage.  I am grateful for the kind doctor who delivered the news, my supportive husband who held me, took me home and made me cheese crisps for dinner and chocolate chip cookies and a nice fire while we begin our journey of waiting it all out.

At times my heart feels like breaking, I feel I can't breathe.  I try to sing songs that comfort me but nothing comes but tears.  I write and tears come.  Then comes the undeniable peace and comfort that this is a trial of life that will pass.  I will be patient with myself and my feelings and let myself mourn and feel the hand of God in my life.  God is extremely aware of me and my family.  I feel his peace as I pray for comfort.  The Conference messages are still for me as one day, on the timetable of Him who is most wise, I will have children here on earth.  I know that families are forever and I will see and know that child again.  That child I was able to love inside of me, I continue to love.  I will not give up.  I will not quit.  I will keep walking.  I will keep trying. There is help and happiness now and ahead despite the sadness and pain.  I will keep my chin up.  It will be all right in the end.  I trust God and believe in good things to come.

Real Meaning of Christmas

I was touched by this video.
Enjoy!

Comforting Words of Wisdom

"I took occasion to gently repove all present for letting report excite them, and advised them not to suffer themselves to be wrought upon by any report, but to maintain an event, undaunted mind." -J.Smith

"We live in a day of startling reports and astonishing rumors.  The headlines shout doom and gloom, and sometimes our hope and confidence in everlasting things wanes in light of discouraging new and titillating stories.  The father of lies would have us lose hope, give in to despair, and feel that life is too scary and precarious to go forth with faith.  But if we trust God and know that He is our loving Father and that He is mindful of us, we will be empowered to go forward with faith and sweet assurance.  Faith and confidence in the Lord and His purposes filters each report and rumor through a gospel lens.  Faith drives our fear and uncertainty, and hope and trust chase away the countless worries that are so common and so expected in this troubled world.  We may be surprised with current events, but the Lord never is.  No headline or report can thwart His purposes: no rumor or story can frustrate God's plan for His faithful children and for His kingdom." - Lloyd Newell  

I agree.

All Things Can Work Together for Our Good

Sometimes things happen that are out of our control.  At times they do not seem fair or right.  But God knows us.  He knows what we go through.  And He can make all things work together for our good and our experience.  Depending on how we handle the challenges of life, I believe we can come to know God more closely as our Lord and Savior.  My greatest trials can become my greatest blessings.

Below is part of a story about some missionaries a long, long time ago that I love.  It talks a little about this.  Enjoy! (It was written a long time ago and translated from another language so the word phrasing may seem a little odd).

"And it came to pass that they did go forth, and began to preach the word of God unto the people, entering into their synagogues, and into their houses; yea, and even they did preach the word in their streets.And it came to pass that after much labor among them, they began to have success among the ^apoor class of people; for behold, they were cast out of the synagogues because of the coarseness of their apparel—Therefore they were not permitted to enter into their synagogues to worship God, being esteemed as filthiness; therefore they were poor; yea, they were esteemed by their brethren as ^adross; therefore they were ^bpoor as to things of the world; and also they were poor in heart.

 Now, as Alma was teaching and speaking unto the people upon the hill ^aOnidah, there came a great ^bmultitude unto him, who were those of whom we have been speaking, of whom were ^cpoor in heart, because of their poverty as to the things of the world.  And they came unto Alma; and the one who was the foremost among them said unto him: Behold, ^awhat shall these my brethren do, for they are ^bdespised of all men because of their poverty, yea, and more especially by our priests; for they have ^ccast us out of our synagogues which we have labored abundantly to build with our own hands; and they have cast us out because of our exceeding poverty; and we have ^dno place to worship our God; and behold, ^ewhat shall we do?

And now when Alma heard this, he turned him about, his face immediately towards him, and he beheld with great joy; for he beheld that their ^aafflictions had truly ^bhumbled them, and that they were in a ^cpreparation to hear the word. Therefore he did say no more to the other multitude; but he stretched forth his hand, and cried unto those whom he beheld, who were truly penitent, and said unto them:

I behold that ye are ^alowly in heart; and if so, blessed are ye. Behold thy brother hath said, What shall we do?—for we are cast out of our synagogues, that we cannot worship our God. Behold I say unto you, do ye suppose that ye ^acannot worship God save it be in your synagogues only?  And moreover, I would ask, do ye suppose that ye must not worship God only ^aonce in a week?

I say unto you, it is well that ye are cast out of your synagogues, that ye may be humble, and that ye may learn ^awisdom; for it is necessary that ye should learn wisdom; for it is because that ye are cast out, that ye are despised of your brethren because of your exceeding ^bpoverty, that ye are brought to a lowliness of heart; for ye are necessarily brought to be humble. And now, because ye are compelled to be humble blessed are ye; for a man sometimes, if he is compelled to be humble, seeketh ^arepentance; and now surely, whosoever repenteth shall find mercy; and he that findeth mercy and ^bendureth to the end the same shall be saved.

It Takes Faith to Raise a Family

As I watch the news, see the turmoil, the civil unrest.  Listen to personal stories of tragedy and grief, see the footage of the devastating earthquake and potential nuclear plant explosions in Japan, I am struck with fear for my yet children.  I am also struck with the thought that in a world such as this it takes faith to raise a family.  Faith in God.  Faith in His Eternal and Divine plan, and faith in the goodness of that lies still in people.