Home Sweet Home...Soon

It has been a long journey.  Yes, it could have been longer but for me it was long enough.  We have found a home, had an offer accepted - finallly, worked through the loan process - we hope, and will be closing on Thursday. 

The loan process has been more than a headache.  We choose the wrong loan agent and should have walked away sooner.  We did even consider loosing this house is how bad it was.  But finally they came through.  Once they approved the loan though, they messed some things up and when we should have been closed already, then the date was pushed back to this Monday, then Wednesday and now it is Thursday.  We pray it will continue to stay Thursday and that we close just fine. 

One problem this has caused us was that we need to be out of our apartment by Wednesday.  We gave our complex our 30 day notice after we had started the loan process.  It was going to be just fine because the loan officer said she would have the loan done within 10 days.  They have been ridiculous to work with.

The whole story of trying to get this house is long and enough to make anyone disgusted so I won't go into it.  Thinking about it all is not good for my blood pressure either, so it is probably for the best.  We will focus on the good.  We are closing on Thursday.  We have found a wonderful piano in the classifieds and an amazing dresser.  We have yet to get a refrigerator, a stove range and hood, dishwasher, clothes washer or dryer. Priorities.

Oh Yes You Did!

What!  I spent 3 hours going through a paper line by line finding how the paper was plagiarized and writing it out to explain it to you.  And you have the nerve to write me an email telling me you turned it in for another class and got an 84, therefore, I should not have given you a 0 for your paper that you plagiarized AND used for another class last semester?  Are you for reals?  Oh yes you did plagiarize.  And oh, yes you do get a 0. 

Sometimes I wonder about people.

Comforting Words of Wisdom

"I took occasion to gently repove all present for letting report excite them, and advised them not to suffer themselves to be wrought upon by any report, but to maintain an event, undaunted mind." -J.Smith

"We live in a day of startling reports and astonishing rumors.  The headlines shout doom and gloom, and sometimes our hope and confidence in everlasting things wanes in light of discouraging new and titillating stories.  The father of lies would have us lose hope, give in to despair, and feel that life is too scary and precarious to go forth with faith.  But if we trust God and know that He is our loving Father and that He is mindful of us, we will be empowered to go forward with faith and sweet assurance.  Faith and confidence in the Lord and His purposes filters each report and rumor through a gospel lens.  Faith drives our fear and uncertainty, and hope and trust chase away the countless worries that are so common and so expected in this troubled world.  We may be surprised with current events, but the Lord never is.  No headline or report can thwart His purposes: no rumor or story can frustrate God's plan for His faithful children and for His kingdom." - Lloyd Newell  

I agree.

Within about 20 minutes I learned that a dear friend Marian Wahl passed away, a light fixture fell 2 stories and shattered next to where I was standing, and we learned that the contract for our home came through.  Needless to say I felt emotionally exhausted in a short amount of time. 

Marian is a lovely woman who taught me much about loving others, caring for those in need and how to be a friend.  She loved flowers and had quite a green thumb.  She was an avid reader and taught English to high school students.  She loved languages and spoke several herself.  She taught me some of the joy of learning.  I was saddened to hear of her passing because we will not be blessed by her presence for a time.  I find great hope and comfort in knowing that death is not the end.  We live that we might die and we die that we might live. I am grateful to know that God has a plan, it is a plan of happiness, a plan of hope, a plan of salvation.  I know that through Him and his atonement, I will see my dear friend and other loved ones again.

Light fixture fell from the top of the staircase onto the landing seen in the middle of the staircase.

The story behind the light fixture falling:  Yesterday I went outside bare foot to get some dirt for the seeds I am starting for our garden when we move.  While on the stair the glass light fixture at the top of the staircase for our column fell shattering near where I was standing.  Glass flew everywhere, landing on all three levels of the staircase.  Standing in shock, not yet able to move, I saw in my minds eye myself standing there covered in blood, cut for the shattered glass and was just waiting for the pain to set in.  I feel so blessed and thankful to God that I when I was finally able to look at myself, I was standing surrounded with glass with only a small, small cut on the foot.

Shortly after the glass experience, we received a phone call from our Realtor saying HUD sent the signed contract for the home we are trying to buy.  Now the clock begins ticking.  We must close on the house within 45 days of yesterday.  We had hoped be able to close and move by the end of the month so we do not have to pay for another month of rent. It now looks like that might still be a possibility.   Our prayers have been answered.  I am grateful for the Lord's help in having that come through. 

Now we work to get the power turned on for a home inspection on Friday and pray that all will come back okay with that and pray that the loan process will go quickly and correctly.

I feel so blessed, protected and thankful for the tender mercy and knowledge of his plan.  The eternal perspective and knowledge makes barring the trials and challenges of life so much easier.

Aversion, Avoidance, Distraction

When it comes to not wanting to do things, I am really good at avoiding and distracting myself.  Facebook, blogging, cooking, and sleeping are my biggest distraction techniques.  Joshua told me recently of a study done about people with test anxiety.  They found that if those who write about the test before taking the test tend to do better when they go to take the test.  They are able to focus better.

Well right, my thesis is my biggest aversion right now.  Folding and putting away the laundry wins as number 2.  Perhaps if I write about not wanting to do my thesis, I will be able to gain the perspective, peace and willingness to buckle down and finish it.

So why do I avoid it?  This part of it is due in two weeks, and I really am closer than I think on finishing it.  I don't want to deal with the stress of actually doing the task. I fear that their is more work to do on than I want to do or feel capable of doing.  The thesis part of my masters has been the part I have felt most inadequate about.  I have to have a research question, which I do.  Then I have to run the data to see what it says about the question.  This is what I am still working on.  Then I have to write it all up in a clear and interesting way, interpret the results and talk about their application.  Whew, it's a lot.

Why would I do it?  Even though I feel inadequate, even though it is hard, even though I don't want to do it, I still can.  I have to, or else I will not graduate.  It will soon be over.  The sooner I do it, the sooner it will be over.  I can do hard things even though they can be uncomfortable.  My dear friend and collegue Dr. Gordon Day once told me, "It's only a feeling."  He is right, it is a feeling of fear that I am allowing myself to be held back by.  I can work through the feeling though and then it will be over.  Also, if I do go ahead and finish this draft, I am closer to completing my whole thesis.  When I complete my thesis, I do not have to attend an 8 a.m. class for our theses, a great reward.  Also, I will be able to focus more time and without this stress, on my classes, internships, husband, church callings, and other responsibilities I have.  I will be that much closer to completing my masters degree.  I can do this. I can do hard things.  I will do this.         

I feel much better.  Wish me luck.  I am going to do it. Just do it now.  And just do it now with a smile knowing that I am strong, smart, capable and going to be finished with it soon.  It will not last forever.  And most importantly, I know God will help me.  He is always there.